About Jon

If you want to know what I am reading click here.

Since I was small my mother was pushing me to sing out front, speak in front of others, etc and I absolutely hated it. I obviously had some talent just no will to develop it whatsoever. As a child I was not “normal”. Attending a predominantly African American church in the inner city of Kansas City, living on an acre and a half of land on the outskirts of Leavenworth and going to a dominantly Caucasian school I did not fit the mold in either community. As I went through school, I was seemingly more out going but increasingly lonely as I searched for a place to fit. Around my freshman year in high school I had given up, on my church, on my family, on my so-called friends, and on God. At school I privately declared myself an atheist after researching the term. I knew the repercussions if I had done so publicly, so I made this a private matter and, along with a group of a few others, started my quest to “free myself from these religious bonds that had entangled me for so long”. Over the next four (4) years I grew in knowledge and hatred towards the religious (especially at church). When I attended Palestine (my home church), I would privately engage in debates to destroy others faith in the god of hypocrites and liars. I wanted everyone else to feel how I did, alone, angry, but free. I would also terrorize the believers in Christ at my school by taunting them in subtle ways and just making there life miserable. I joined the debate team, which served as fodder to the fire, and researched increasingly to “break others free” and it grew into an obsession by college. My senior year in high school most everyone would have thought that I would head off to Emery, Harvard or some other Ivy league school. However, I barely passed out and chose Kansas State University at the last minute. Once there my complete estrangement from everything (church, family, God) began and I was completely fine with that. I was free, free to do whatever I so chose and quickly jumped into a river in which I could not stem the current. At this point the only thing keeping me “close” to God was my then fiancé who went to a Pentecostal church who told me that if I did not “speak in tongues I was not Christian”, little did anyone know I could care less but I went to appease her and to show that my family was religious too. The thing that I loved about K-State is that it was so far from everything, I knew no one, they did not know me, and I felt that a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I thought I was free. I started to meet as many people as I could by just going around and speaking to whomever I saw while neglecting my schoolwork. I met many people of different religions and started questioning their validity while trying to figure life out. By the spring semester of what was supposed to be my sophomore year my high school sweetheart had left me for another man, my “friends” had left me cold in the dust and there I lay alone, broke and bitter once again at God for everything. I decided to fight back and do what damage I could. So every young person that I met I did everything that I knew how to not only learn about their specific religion but make them break each and every tenet that I could. There was this one young lady, a believer in Christ, that no matter what I did she would not run away but would keep coming back and forgiving me. I never understood this; I actually just thought she was masochistic because she inevitably knew what I would do. For 2 ½ years we went through this dance, she would sometimes bring me tapes of sermons, and trinkets from her mission trips, all the while praying for me. Everything culminated in an indescribable event that even today I am saddened to think of. However I am thankful for its result. The crux of the event is that I needed to not only explain myself to another but also seek forgiveness in the process. In doing this I was given the options of either going to jail or coming to church, since they were the same to me but church had a shorter sentence, I went. For the first time that I remembered, I heard the gospel in a clear way that made since. I felt accepted for who I was, and I felt God smiling. That day I did not know or completely understand what was going on but I told God that I would keep searching for him until I found what I was looking for. When I moved back to Kansas City I made some decisions that to this day I am feeling the repercussions of. I do not attend the church of my upbringing. I knew that I will do anything to teach as many people the redeeming gospel of Jesus Christ. Shortly before the day I was baptized I had this very thought, “For all of my life I have been a mouthpiece for myself and my endeavors, a pretty good one I might add, so why not use the gifts that God has obviously blessed you with to do for others what was done for you.” and so I began to look, learn and prepare to go into fulltime ministry. God has blessed me with opportunites to teach in the church in which I attend working with young adults. I know after teaching that it is exactly where God has called me to be. In the next sping semester I entered my first class in a very long and arduous path towards through learning rightly what I have used as foder for so long. My goals are learning as much as I can about the Bible and Christ, focusing on spreading the word with increasing clarity and skill as I delve deeper into his Word. That is my story, but better yet that is HIStory in which i am involved and thankfully so.

If you want to know what I am reading click here.


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