Always Learning

Most weeks I will be posting here on the blog but I think that is important to get a chorus of voices talking about what they see God doing. This is why I invited my friend Kyle Streeter to post this week and this is what he had to say….

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    Today was one of most touching days that I’ve had in my life in a long time. I received a call today at work to rescue a young lady whose car broke down. But this recovery was everything but usual. I didn’t think anything different when I pulled up on this hot summer day and the operator of the car was crying. I see it all the time. However what made this different then any other I have had was what happened after her car was loaded onto my truck and we had taken off to the repair shop. Normally I pay no attention to customers personal calls while riding in my truck but one comment caught my ear. I heard this young lady ask what the point was of going on in life. “People who get more then they can handle from god always kill themselves.”

    What do you say to that comment? how do you react to that comment when you know its totally opposite? This young lady and myself had quite the conversation after that. I was unsure what to say but at the same point I was offended. So I tried to politely confront her about her comment. I made her aware of the problems in my life and she followed by telling me the problems she was having. The point Im getting at is that ths young lady left me thinking. If this occurs again how do I go about dealing with people like this? Does god really give people more then they can handle? Daily prayers of comfort and help do they really get answered before a tragic event happens? Do children really need materialistic items to be happy? Does god really work in EVERY PERSONS life? Does god only answer prayers from those who are church goers and regularly attend?

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**Kyle Streeter is a student at JCCC (c………c………c………c) and avid KU fan. You can meet and talk to him at Westside’s College Ministry on Tuesday nights, just comment below, or email him at streetdogg76@hotmail.com**

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Perceptions

    So the other night we had a chance to discuss the relevancy of the church in America today.  It was actually funny to see some of the faces out in the crowd. Well last night I turned on ABC for a little mental break (again I watch these so that you do not have to).  The show that was a break of sorts, but was stressful in another way. Has anyone else watched Wife Swap? It’s a reality TV show, somewhat along the lines one where they rebuild your house (sorry i don’t know the name). Viewers get to play voyeur to another American family and feel better about their own dysfunction as adult men and women act childishly in front of the camera.  This episode was particularly disheartening given the conversation on Tuesday night because it showed a liberal Christian family (the Beckman-Hesketts) and a conservative Christian family (the Childs) switching places.  Ultimately, they both looked nuts, probably because the splicing and editing in these shows could make the nicest person you know out to look crazy. What was interesting to watch was the way that the arguments initially revolved around interpretation of the Bible but very quickly degenerated into hurling stereotypes at each other. Remeber I am supposedly talking about Christians here!  There was no sitting and “reasoning together”, but both sides were fearful and suspicious of the others’ intentions and relationship with God.
    Oddly, or perhaps appropriately, the “liberal” father  grew up in the Baptist church and was a pastor in it for 20 or 30 years, I didn’t get to hear exactly. He rejected his fundamentalist way of interpreting the Bible in favor of a different view of the Bible, seemingly considering it a guide, but not authoritative. The “conservative” father lived (according to the wife) a “sinful life booking  rock bands, skateboarding, and performing stand-up comedy”until they met and she guided him to Christianity. Now he is the family’s “gatekeeper” and he does no cooking, and his daughters are encouraged to find husbands, not careers.  I hope that you guys are getting the picture here.  At least according to the most recent Pew Forum study, Evangelicals like the Childs make up 26% of the United States population, with Mainline Protestants like the Beckman-Hesketts following with 18%. The interpretive clash depicted on ABC is inevitable, since the majority of Mainline Protestants think there are multiple interpretations of their religion’s teachings, but Evangelicals split almost 50-50 on that question (one versus multiple interpretations).
    The Pew Forum didn’t ask questions about gender and sex roles in their survey, though, only about homosexuality.  I would have been interested to see that kind of survey question asked, since I think there would be more variability. The strong “gatekeeper” and patriarchal mentality of the Childs is certainly a strand among Evangelicals (and a vocal one), but I don’t think it’s the majority view.  This just reiterated what we spoke about on Tuesday and what the video (at the top of the page) states also. *Click here to see the networks opinion on the episode.*
It’s your faith You decide!

• Perception:  “Most people I meet assume the ‘Christian’ means very conservative, entrenched in their thinking, antigay, anti-choice, angry, violent, illogical, empire builders; they want to convert everyone, and they generally cannot live peacefully with anyone who doesn’t believe what they believe.”

                                                                                                                                                or

• New Perception: Christians are the ones who love everyone unconditionally, regardless of their background.   Christians become more counter cultural within a cultural context. 
  Christians reach across racial lines and break down socio-economic walls that exist today.  Christians are known to be radically transparent while continually submitting to and glorifying Jesus Christ in all he is.

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*I was listing to John Mark McMillan while writing this post*

Oops?!?!

    After the short marathon on Tuesday night I realized that we did not answer the second part of the question which was “Does God make mistakes?”  Below is my attempt at answering this question and I pray that it encourages you to dig into the things of God.  for those of you that have never read this blog before this may be a little heavy but, I pray that it is worth it.

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    AAll earnest students of the Bible eventually find themselves facing a great problem – the apparent failure of God’s purpose for, and His promises to, the Israel people and nation.  Just so you know many people (especially Atheist) tend to go back to the King James to prove there point, be wary and search the Scriptures yourselves. 

• Did God make a mistake when He brought the Israel people into being and said to them:“Thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God; the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.”  – Deuteronomy 7:6?
• Did God make a mistake when he formed the Israel people into His own kingdom-nation to demonstrate the righteousness of His Will as the Law of human life and conduct, when He said: “Ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests and an holy nation.” – Exodus 19:6?
• Did God make a mistake when He promised David a future regathering of the Israel people in a new home:“Moreover I will appoint a place for my people Israel, and will plant them, that they may dwell in a place of their own, and move no more.” – II Samuel 7:10?
• Did this purpose fail, or did God change His mind?  Was God also mistaken when, long after Israel had disappeared, He promised that she would continue as a nation as long as the Sun, Moon and Stars remain, and as long as we continue to have day and night? “Thus saith the Lord, which giveth the sun for a light by day, and the ordinances of the moon and of the stars for a light by night, which divideth the sea when the waves thereof roar; The Lord of hosts is his name: if those ordinances depart from before me saith the Lord, then the seed of Israel also shall cease from being a nation.” – Jeremiah 31:35-36?
• Was the fulfillment of this promise beyond the ability and power of God? Did God also make a mistake when He established the Royal House and Throne of David at the head of the Israel nation, and when He promised David: “Thine house and thy kingdom shall be established forever before thee: thy throne shall be established for ever.” – II Samuel 7:16?
• This promise, which God swore to fulfill, requires the continuous and everlasting existence of the House and Throne of David. Did God fail to foresee their fall? Or was He unable to prevent it? Did God make a mistake when, in announcing the coming birth of His Son, He sent His Angel to say to Mary:“Thou … shalt bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus … and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: and he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever.” – Luke 1 :31-33.

    Make no mistake about it, God makes no mistakes. “Great is the LORD,and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable” Psalms145:3. The original language for “unsearchable” incorporates the thought of not being possible to fathom or find out or enumerate. It is obvious that this statement cannot be made for one who could make a
mistake, for then, even if only one mistake is made, it could be said that he were one who made at least one mistake; that is, his greatness could be quantified or enumerated as having been one who made one mistake, even if only one, and even if he were the only one who made only one.  “Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite” Psalms 147:5. Again, the understanding of anyone capable of mistakes would be finite, not infinite. 
  
     Perhaps someone would feign to find God having second thoughts about something He had done in the scripture: “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the LORD that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him at His
heart. And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them” (Genesis 6:5-7). First, note that He did not say He would destroy all men, for in the next verse, “But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD” (Genesis 6:8). And so it followed that Jesus came through Noah’s son, Shem. No, God had not discovered a mistake in His works, not at all. He had a high and lofty purpose in permitting for a time the expression of the sin of mankind and angels.  You see, God made no mistake, but had a purpose in all of this and the outcome is no surprise to Him, for He declares the end from the beginning, “Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure” (Isaiah 46:9-10).
   
    A word about the word “repent” as used in scripture, this is important. When used by God, according to original language the thought of grief, even compassionate grief, and consolation or comfort, and action taken thereupon. Yes, God felt suffering and grief on our behalf, but that is not a sign of error, or regret, or of mistake. Rather, it is a sign of  strength, of love on behalf of another; yes, of Agape love. In a word, it portrays specific action taken by God to counteract our mistakes; that is, our sins. “But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound” (Romans 5:20b). When used of man, however, the word describes a change of heart, of thought and life’s direction, based necessarily on the  recognition of his own shortcomings, his sin, in the light of God’s gracious call for his repentance for his own good.
   
    Perhaps one may seem to think God has made a mistake in his or her own personal life’s experiences. However, we are told, “… we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). In all this we must understand that the things of this life are expendable and are
being spent for our eternal reward according to His grace who, “… is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy” (Jude 1:24). “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). I am so glad my Lord and my God makes no mistakes with my life.
    There is no fault in our God; there are no mistakes He has made. There is no fault, no mistakes made by His Son. In all of Satan’s desperate effort to disclose one single fault in Jesus, he utterly failed while Pontius Pilate declared, “Then said Pilate to the chief priests and to the people, I find no fault in this man” (Luke 23:4).

This has been a very short discourse which could go on forever, because we
serve an infallible God whose greatness cannot be enumerated  I pray that this attempt was at least enough to answer the base questions yet leave enough for you to want/need to dig deeper.

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Recommended Resources:  Disappointment with God by Philip Yancey.or you can click here.

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She Must and Shall Go Free

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and that one of many reasons why I haven’t posted in a while.  I want to share an artist with you that I think is raw and relative simple, which is so attractive to me.  I just want to invite you to listen to and read the words to this song and let me know how they hit you.  I am really interested.

Lyrics:

If you could love me as a wife

And for my wedding gift, your life

Should that be all I’d ever need?

Or is there more I’m looking for

And should I read between the lines

And look for blessings in disguise

To make me handsome, rich, and wise

Is that really what you want?

[Chorus]

‘Cause I am a whore I do confess

But I put you on just like a wedding dress

And I run down the aisle, I run down the aisle

I’m a prodigal with no way home

But I put you on just like a ring of gold

And I run down the aisle

I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child?

Though I don’t trust you to provide

With one hand in a pot of gold

And with the other in your side

‘Cause I am so easily satisfied

By the call of lovers so less wild

That I would take a little cash

Over your very flesh and blood

[Chorus x2]

Because money cannot buy

A husband’s jealous eye

When you have knowingly deceived his wife

[Chorus x2]

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After ten years in a Christian band, backstage in the music industry
and in the hallways of church buildings across America, my attention as
a songwriter has turned to a fresh affection for the Church. It seems
we know all too little of who She is, how She should dress, or what She
was made for. I have found that Scripture is provocative when it comes
to these issues and so these songs are not for the faint of heart.
Truth is, God would rather die than be without Her, and She is both
wretched and radiant. I’m convinced that there is only one
righteousness suitable for Jesus’s bride, and He is jealous for Her
love. For the believe, truth is freedom. Even truth that is hard to
hear. May these songs stir all of us to see, as if for the first time,
that we have (still) a great need for a Savior, and a great Savior for our need.

— God bless, derek

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A Book Review: “Sex, Sushi, and Salvation”

**I have the Top  questions from the ASK ANYTHING POLL and we will begin June 10th. They are not the same as last week so be prepared!**

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For those of you who are desperately seeking to embody a faith that goes beyond an occasional, fickle flirtation or one-night stand with God, then I have just found the book for you!

 Finally a person who can put my thoughts into words! Sorry, maybe I am showing my cards too early. 
    In his book, Sex, Sushi, and Salvation, George gives us a refreshing glimpse of what it really means to follow Christ grit, grime and all. If you are looking for a great summer read this is the one!  Christian George (the author) is a theologian cleverly disguised as a story teller. I so appreciated the interweaving of the Gospel narrative into a modern day context. He has pulled off a brilliantly written masterpiece in an engaging style reminiscent of Donald Miller and Rob Bell. His observations on life are deep and easy to relate to and learn from while having a theology that I can grasp and hold on to. If you like the apostle Paul, you’re gonna love Christian George.
    Let me be honest, I don’t usually read pretty books about Jesus, generally because they misrepresent Him, and this book does not fall into that category. George’s depiction of God directly and deliberately resembles the God we discover in the biblical narrative: namely, a God whose love for us is illogical, unchanging, passionate, penetrating, and relentless. A love like this, George argues, inspires and demands a response from the beloved (i.e. us), a response that is nothing less than the continual desire and willingness to give one’s entire heart, mind, and body to
God.
    Like the Apostle Paul, George has seemingly lived the life of a pilgrim-missionary.  Sharing the Gospel around the globe and seeing with his own eyes the stomping
grounds of great heroes of the faith.  Also like Paul, he’s compassionate but never compromising. George seems to be the first to admit his pitifully sinful heart, yet trying to live out Paul’s mantra, “For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”  Through every turn of the page I found myself painfully identifying with the text yet wanting him to make any mistakes, as I may have done.  George’s edgy-poetic imagery will make you shudder with horror one moment and shiver with delight the next. This book is a convicting punch between the eyeballs in a colorful and conversational tone. George provides a thick Christianity for a watered down culture, as a prophet and shepherd, he boldly states what the Bible demands of people. Many times, this seems to take you by surprise forcing you to examine your own life and admit your own shortcomings before you even realize you are agreeing with him. Throughout the book, George’s abilities as a word smith created memorable quotes that cemented his ideas in my mind.
    If you find your heart and stomach growling for the real Jesus, if you ache to authentically live out your faith, if you crave the courage to risk it all for the only thing that matters–you need this book.This is the manifesto screaming what Generations X and Y are so deeply yearning for. Please take the time to purchase this book and take it in. 

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**Occasionally I will offer a book or two that I have recently reviewed.  Please feel free to let me know what you think after you have read it.  For more book reviews that I am reading on the “Upcoming Events”**

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Tags: BookReview, God

Go Vote!!!

    So guys after many weeks of voting these are the Top 5 so far.  I will be teaching on what ever you end up voting for by next Tuesday.  We will be starting off with #5 and counting down to #1.  This is your last chance to vote on what you want to hear me teach on, what is relevant to you?  Please go to WFC College site and vote (vote often)! 
    The point of this summer series is to challenge to you to think and then ask me anything about Christianity that you would like yeah I said it ANYTHING. In the book of 1 Corinthians Paul’s letter was in large part a series of answers to various questions he received from the church. So this idea of asking questions and having them answered is not a new one to me or anyone else. Throughout the letter, Paul frequently quotes directly from the letter he received from the Corinthians. Paul’s example got me to consider what it would be like to do something similar so here we are, and here are your the Top 5.

1. What is sex in God’s eyes? Is sex before marriage wrong? Is living together before marriage wrong?
2. How does a Christian date righteously? Genesis 2 says it’s not good for a man to be alone, that he needs a wife to help him out. However, the Bible doesn’t lay out a specific way that is to be done. Are there different ways to go about getting a spouse?
3. Why do you think the modern church so afraid of speaking out against pornography and other sexual addiction?
4. The church has never done a good job of being relevant to issues that plague so many of us. Why do you think this is when we are called to live righteously? If the church is choosing not help us… (and yes they’re choosing not to)…who and what will?
5. Can a Christian lose their faith?

    There is still time to vote on any of the questions listed on the College ministry website, you have until Tuesday.  My goal in this is to spend some time teaching on the things that you may not hear on a regular basis.  We will be looking at this from a biblical perspective and hopefully you will hear and learn somethings that will challenge your presuppositions and commonly held beliefs.  This series will begin on Tuesday June 10th so vote and bring you friends!!

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I was listening to Drum & Bass Arena while writing this post!

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My crazy yard

This morning I woke up to the sound of alarms and a dog yelping because of her fear of the impending thunderstorms. Usually I do not care to much that she is scared but today it was different because our friend Anna Banana (that is my not so unique nickname for her) was still asleep and it was 4:45 a.m. So as quickly as I could I ran upstairs to grab her and had a thought “Darn it, another Thursday (7 of 8 to be exact) of rain, I will never get to cut my grass”. You see for the last 2 months I have been trying to consistently cut my grass and keep my neighbors from thinking that I am some kind of freak of nature with 1 foot tall grass (mostly weed infested) yard. So for three weeks I could not cut my grass, either because of school, rain, fatigue, or just plain laziness, but I was not able to cut the grass and so my yard grew out of control. I remember one morning walking outside and looking at the yard in inner disgust and outer shame as I looked around to the other yards. One Yard in particular is across the street from me and is impeccable, seriously, it is sickening. It is green, soft (I know because I have laid in it), and without a weed. It is utterly perfect, I really want to take one weed and plant the seeds in his yard just to see what it would do. Okay, I know that I sound sick and wrong but I want to do it, but let me back up. I was walking to my car the other day and that neighbor was outside and noticed me. I did the neighborly wave thing and he looked at me with the same niceness but then as I turned I noticed something, he had a look, as if he had thrown up in his mouth or something. So I jumped in my car and drove by him but he kept staring at my………………. yard. I was being judged because my word was not beautiful, it truly ticked me off, but I will survive.

I tell you that story to tell you this……….

Jesus is our Saviour, God the Father our sustainer, and the Holy Spirit is our source of power and if our faith looks a little like my yard then it is okay, as long as it doesn’t stay that way. I have a friend I used to work with and he did not grow up in Church or claim to be a follower of Christ. Through much prayer and prompting from the Spirit he ended up coming to our LifeGroup and then to Christ. The day that he did we had him pray instead of leading him in a prayer. The first prayer that he prayed he was laced with at least 3 “F-bombs” and a few other curse words. At first I was not happy with the prayer, but then I was convicted that it was okay because that is where he was. Over the next year he grew and read God’s word daily, and slowly changed into the man of God that I know today. My friend had an uncut faith, that was dirty and weed infested, but it was still a yard. Please take the time to encourage those who may not have faith or a faith like yours to seek the face of God. In doing that they should get into the Bible and it will prick there heart and minds to change and more resemble the image of the One that they worship. We need to try our best not to look like you just upchucked in your mouth but with pleasure in that they are moving towards Christ, not a god but Christ, through the Spirits prompting. We cannot change people, or convert people, only the Spirit through prayer and intercession.

“Respect the Journey”

“Missional…….is that a tire or something?”

Okay I haven’t posted a video in a while so I thought that I would begin with this one since it is somewhat pertinent to our conversation. This one hits me personally since I am in seminary and we speak “Christianeeze” everyday. Christianeze or Christianeeze is a completely made up word just like many of those that we use within Christendom. Usually we define words as we introduce them into culture but lately we have been becoming lazy. Let me give you an example. A few days ago, I was sitting in a local coffee shop amongst friends discussing how we can help improve discipleship within our context (darn-it I did it again, stupid buzz words) Church. So we were talking about a piece that will help us to communicate how strategy for spiritual growth in our church (mainly because every church is different). As we sat there 3 words seemed to emerge as the focus on conversation, which centered around the clarity of the piece.
The 3 words were:

• Missional
• Relational
• Transformational

I assumed that we each understood what was being communicated but objected because I realize (not all of the time) that the language that I speak isn’t always palatable to most people. So we were discussing and the question came, “Missional….. is that a tire or something?” At that very moment I realized something, I realized how absolutely, completely, ridiculous, I sound when I use terms that are not used in common vernacular and also not defined.
The word “Missional” or the term “Missional living” are Christian terms that describe a missionary lifestyle; adopting the posture, thinking, behaviors, and practices of a missionary in order to engage others with the gospel message. The use of this term has gained recent popularity due to the Emerging church movement to contrast the concept of a select group of “professional” missionaries, with the understanding that all Christians should be involved in the Great Commission of Jesus Christ. If you don’t like that definition then try this one, “Missional” is an adjective describing all of the activities of the church body as they are brought under the mission of God (Missio Dei) to proclaim the good news of salvation through His Son Jesus Christ.
See what I mean this is silly, but this is the language of the modern Church……. I think. So here is what I would like for you to do, when you are finished reading this help me out. I know that there are so many Christianeze words out there let me know what some of them are and provide a definition. Please don’t get me wrong, when the Apostles in the New Testament introduced a word within the common language they defined it, there is not an instance where a new word is given without an explicit definition. I want so badly for Christians to engage culture and affect it in a way that we all joyfully submit to Christ, but if the culture that we are engaging does not understand the words coming from our mouths then they may never come to understand the truth of Jesus Christ. Just think about it.

**Click here to see what is going on around WFC and see the “What If the Church….?” promo video!**

Well hidden emo

This year has been a crazy one and this week is no different. I am not an emotional guy (unless you ask the right people) and my emotions have been like a roller-coaster for the last 3 weeks. Over the last year I lost my mentor and am gaining a child. I feel bifurcated from myself and the rest of reality, yet I know that everyone around me wants to help. Have you ever felt alone in a room full of people? Have you ever wanted to cry when you see so much wrong? Well I have for a while now.

Come Together was an effort by WFC to create a culture of generosity within our context. As Christ followers we are called to be generous with what we are given, and that does not just deal with our finances but our time and abilities. I have been giving since I came to Christ and do not intend to ever stop yet sometimes it hurts. As many of you know just over a year ago WFC lost someone who brought her to the point that she is now and set her on the course to complete the task given to her by Christ. Personally, I miss him and wish that we had contact, even though we do not, but all of this aside Westside has slowly begun to change and these last couple of weeks have been a reminder of where that started and how we have been faithful in our follow-up. I also am so amazed at how God has used the ideas of some to glorify Himself throughout this process. I am also amazed at how God exposes our own intentions and was reminded of that as I walked into WFC and looked up at the banners hanging from the ceiling. My initial reaction was just to sigh, but soon after the emotions welled within me and I could barely control myself and I had this thought. “Is the God that I serve that faithful to someone like me? Why?” it still boggles my mind that God would even give me the time of day but I will take it and give of myself to bring glory and honor to His name while making famous to the ends of the earth. if you are nto involved then you should get involved by clicking here and see the faithfulness of the God we serve.

**I pray that Christ Jesus and the church will forever bring praise to God. His power at work in us can do far more than we dare ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20-21**

Thank you!

I hate receiving gifts, i know that is a wierd statement but it is true. It is so hard for me to feel adequate enough to accept a gift and I truly sit where I am and just think “Why, why me, what makes me so special?” Let me give you an example. A couple years ago now my wife and I were being buried underneath my former/ current stupidity when it came to finances. We were given tools to budget and be God honoring (financially) when we went through our marathon, also known as pre-marital counseling. I being the [oh so] Godly man that I am promptly forgot what we learned and tried to apply those habits that had placed myself thousands of dollars in debt. After much struggle we decided to go to the first offereing of F.P.U. at Westside and it ablsolutely changed our lives. Throughout the next year we became disciplined and focused (click here to get a video of what that means) and a little silly (mostly on my part), but completely serious about honoring the Spirit that was prompting us to follow Him in the first place. One day while at the Cheesecake Factory (where I used to work) Heather (my wife) called me and informed me that she was coming in. When she reached the front desk one of the ladies up there came and excused me from a class that I was training, as I walked towards the front I could see from a distance that my wife was visibly shaken. When she locked eyes with me she silently walked towards me and when she was within striking distance extended her left hand that held a large manilla envelope (I was thinking oh crap what have I done now). I opened the package to discover at least a $500+ of movie tickets, coupons, gift cards, and just plain money, including some basic instructions. I looked at my baby-girl and ask her why and at that very moment (like it was queued up or something) she began to weep and say I don’t know. I sit here tonight typing with goose-bumps thinking of how that simple package literally saved us so many times throughout that next year, that year was so difficult (arguably one of the most difficult of our marriage to date), yet still to this day I latently ask “Why? What makes us so special? How did they know?” and to tell the truth I still can’t answer any of those questions. I still wonder why Christ saved someone like me, I still sit and question whether I am good enough, I still remember the look of the one I love weeping tears of joy for an undeserved (but much needed) gift. I still hate gifts, but now I am starting to appreciate there importance in our lives and the lives of others, so I sit here tonight writing some “Thank You” notes just to let those who I know have blessed me know what it means to me. You know who you are and if I haven’t said it by this point, Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

**Tonight I was listening to Derek Webb’s album “The House Show”**